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Angel’s Day 34

WOOHOOO!! I made it past a month and it feels WONDERFUL. Huge pat on my back, taking a bow 🙂

The only downfall is my sleep cycle is at it’s worst. I don’t have nightmares, but I’ve been tossing and turning for the past two weeks and it’s driving me nuts. Due to the lack of sleep I have horrible headaches and am not super focused as I was 3 weeks ago. It could also be the pressure from my work…stress. But no worries, I won’t succumb to stress and start toking up or drinking like a fool.

Meditation, yoga and healthy eating….

But most important thing now is that I have no desire at all to smoke the weed.

Namaste everyone and have a great weekend! I will focus on sleep!!!!

 

Angel’s Day 16

It finally happened. I dreamt about smoking pot. In my dream I was hanging out with a friend getting ready to go out and she whipped out a one hitter. I remember being hesitant about taking a toke but did it anyways and immediately after remorse hit me. Pretty intense feeling of guilt as I woke up, but relieved to know that I did not smoke 🙂

My headaches are still there but very slight, sleeping patterns are still sporadic.  My reward, though, is that it’s DAY 16 and I have no desire whatsoever to smoke. I don’t have an urgency to go to a dispensary to get pot anymore (perhaps that will come back but at least I know that I will fight it and win).  My mind is getting clearer every day from the 17 years of fog; short term memory is finally coming back. Remembering people’s names upon greeting is a big thing and I’m slowly getting there. I’m not aimlessly multi-tasking anymore, yet focusing on one thing at a time with great concentration and feeling a great sense of accomplishment. I’m starting to meditate again as well as working out. Drinking a ton of water and eating better food (not having a munch fest anymore). Best of all, my skin has improved, my lungs feel more free and I am genuinely happier.

If only I had known…I would have done this sooner 😉 But better now than never!!!!

Peace and love.

xo

Angel

Angel’s Day 10: Phlegm and coughing

Day 10 and I’m  coughing some things out.  I mean, I don’t terribly mind because I know I’m healing and the body is trying to get rid of the built up resin in my lungs. How long did it last for everyone?

Headache is gone and so are night sweats btw. I had my first real nightmare yesterday. It was fun…

xo

Angel

Angel’s Day 8: Headaches and night sweats

Hello quitters!

Here I go with the headaches and night sweats. I have to lay a towel on my bed because I sweat puddles as I sleep. And then I wake up drenched, uncomfortable and slimy. That’s okay though because I know that it’s working. I am detoxing and grateful that this decision was made and sticking to it. It’s probably due to the previous attempts and now I’m so determined to overcome this addiction 🙂

Yesterday, I met my regular group of friends for beach volleyball. After the game someone pulled out a one-hitter and started passing it around. I was so proud to say that I had no desire whatsoever to smoke it…although it did smell nice. They all know I quit and respect me for it but I’m not going to ask them to not smoke in front of me. My willpower is building and I am starting to feel free.

xo

Angel

Angel’s Day 3: Talk about attitude…

This will be very brief.  My temper…is out of control today. No horrible urges for marijuana but my god, the words that are coming out of my mouth and how quickly I react to things are a little uncalled for.  Everything is just pissing me off.  Okay, that’s it. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

GO TEAM!!!

xo

Angel

Edit (now it’s 9:37 pm): and I’m pretty darn depressed. I haven’t had much of an appetite. I only had a smoothie and a veggie wrap.  Trying to drink a lot of water.  Oh yeah, I’m developing a small headache. Maybe overall, today was a bad day. Feeling frustrated.  Apologies for being negative. ARGHHHHHH!!!!!

But still proud of my success. Day 3 is almost over 🙂

Angel’s Day 2

First of all, I feel so blessed to have stumbled upon Joe’s YouTube video a couple of days ago.  I was mentally preparing myself to quit, yet again, and desperately needed BIG TIME help!!  In the past year I’ve tried quitting 4 times and it was a big fail because either I was 1) bored, 2) around people who smoked, 3) no will power, 4) out of habit.  Another thing…since I quit smoking cigarettes 8 months ago, I’ve noticed my marijuana abuse has gotten more ridiculous. Anyways, THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

I started experimenting with the ganja when I was 16 but didn’t seriously get into it until I was 18 in college. Pot was always accessible at every party so I got hooked on it really fast and was always chasing the next high. Fast forward 17 years….Now I’m 35 and live in Los Angeles where I can drive 10 minutes to a dispensary and choose from 20-40 different kinds of strains including a huge array of edible options. ARGH!!!!

I’m exactly how Joe described himself on the YouTube video. I’m either all in or out when it comes to the weed.  When I had it, it is used first thing in the morning and didn’t stop until I was pass out on my couch. None of my friends really knew how deep of an addiction this was for me. Being a superb closet weed addict was what I was good at. I guess because of that I was partially in denial, although I knew that I had to QUIT…but after that “one more hit.”  I’m effin done with that “one more hit.” I’m so sick of it that I want to beat it up, kick it to the curb, make it bleed and die. (Sorry about that but that’s how angry I was for smoking for so long)

So now I’m on DAY 2, feeling proud that I’ve made that HUGE DECISION to quit the pot. But physically not feeling that great because I am sick with a horrible cold.  I also had to break up with someone I was seeing because whenever we got together all we did was drink and smoke. He was definitely a TRIGGER and if we were to stay together, my attempt to quit would have been broken.  Big bummer because I felt we connected.  Oh well…so is life.

No withdrawal symptoms, no dreams or nightmares, no sweating…yet.  But I’m looking forward to them, ready to battle with my sword and shield. I will protect myself and conquer this war!!!!

Joe, Katie, Richie…and other bloggers here, thank you so much for this blog. I’m so happy to have found you and I know that in my heart that if I keep blogging, I will become more successful and will be on my way to be a non pot smoker.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

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