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Just checking in – Day 112 (I think)

Hi All!

Sorry I haven’t posted in forever!! 

Things have been pretty full on for me lately, but I’m soldiering though 🙂

How is everyone doing?
Is Ritchie still on here at all?

Joe – Awesome work mate – SUPER proud of you!!

x x x

Day 42 – Still not tempted!

Hey Hey!!

Sorry I’ve been so long between posting!
Work has been crazy, and both my laptops at home have died on me 🙁

Anywhoo – Today is Wednesday 30th Jan (well it is here in Australia anyway)

I still haven’t really been tempted to smoke weed for a while now, so that’s awesome for me!
I also don’t have many negatives to report either which is even better!!

I made it through my birthday without smoking (which is when I would usually smoke the most), so YAY for me!

There’s been a bunch of dramas with my family recently – which isn’t really anything  new – but usually I would just smoke and smoke until I forgot about them, not this time though!!
This time I have actually been able to confront them head on, which has been an awesome feeling!!

Joe – I’m so glad you are feeling better and seem to have found an alternative to going back to MMJ! That’s absolutely awesome news!!

I noticed there’s a new blogger, Lisa, whose blog I will pop over and have a look at after this!
I’m glad that there’s been a bunch of people following this blog – who knows, maybe we are actually helping some of them!?!

I haven’t seen a post from Richie in a while, so I’m hoping that he’s doing well 🙂

Still finding more and more positives to quitting smoking every day, and am finding myself with more and more energy every day!

To be honest – I’m pretty shocked that I have made it this far as it’s the longest I have gone without weed in many many years!!

I’d better make this a short post,  cos I’m at work :-/

Hope everyone is awesome!!

Katie x x

Day 33 – Not even tempted!!

Hey Hey!!

Wow – it really has been a while since I have updated!!
I have still been following the page closely, but haven’t posted for a couple of reasons
1 – I’m in the process of moving house, while still working full time
2 – I really don’t even know what to say!

It’s day 33 for me!! Yay!! I have passed 1 month!!
Everything is peachy-keen at the moment!!

I haven’t had even the slightest desire to smoke weed in ages!!
I also haven’t had a nightmare in over a week, and have managed to kick the sleeping pills I was so scared of sleeping without (previous posts will explain why if you don’t know of my past issues with sleeping)

The only thing that still really gets me down is that even though a lot of my mates can see most of my positive changes since quitting, they continue to put it in the ‘too hard basket’.
I just wish they could be me for 24 hours and actually LIVE the benefits!!
It’s hard to try and encourage someone to quit when they simply aren’t interested (without sounding like a preacher anyway – and that’s just not my style!

I do have a birthday coming up (Jan 28th I’m turning 25 yay!!) and can’t wait to be sober on by  birthday for the first time in years and years!!
Hell – I might even remember it!!
One thing I am really excited about is catching up with my mates (a lot of whom smoke… a lot) and not even being tempted to partake!!
This will be a first for me!!

I had better leave it at that – as I’m at work :-/

Will try and check back in soon!!

Thanks again to Joe and Richie for all your help and the inspiration you constantly provide (a lot of the time without even realising that you are).

Much love x x

Katie

Day 26 – Smiles all round :-D

Whoooo!!!

Today is day 26 for me (I’m pretty sure) and everything is cruising along smoothly.

I will start with the only negative that I have at this point (other than the fact that I didn’t kick the pot 7 years ago)  –
I seem to be drinking more excessively than usual, which I think is partly my way of dealing with kicking one habit – like when I stopped biting my nails, I started biting the inside of my cheek (weird, I know).
I don’t have a drinking problem or anything, and still only drink a few times a week, but when I do drink – I seem to knock back more than I used to.
I think this is also because I used to smoke A LOT while drinking.

Now for the positives –
EVERYTHING!!!
I am sleeping better now, having nearly no nightmares!
Because of ^^ this, it is MUCH easier to get out of bed in the morning
My complexion has improved even more since my last post (I’m on my way to flawless skin WHOOO)
I am much more energetic
I have more time to do the little things that I used to overlook – and LOVE waking up in a spotless house every morning almost every morning
I am generally a happier person, with more patience – something I have only found in the past few days, especially when tested by work or idiot drivers
I no longer have cravings at all to smoke – and can’t believe that I did for so long!!
My memory has improved even more – I am for the first time in years actually able to remember clients names and job details (I see a lot of people in my shop every day and could never keep up with who was who)
And one of the biggest positives is that I haven’t loaded the weight on, as I had when attempting to quit previously

There are so many more up sides – but I am on my lunch break and had better get back inside.
Hoping to add more later.

 

Peace 🙂

Katie x x

3 WEEKS!! The good and the bad

Today was both good and bad, and ill start with the bad – just so I can finish with the good 🙂

I called the psych I had the referral to, and he is booked out until March… I do understand that this is good for him, however I do not want to take sleeping pills until then.

Work – work at the moment has been unbelievably stressful. Between things not going to plan, and customers who are just so, so demanding – I thought about coming home and smoking at least half a dozen times.

Sleep – last night I had a dream that was bad..
Nowhere near as bad as the others lately -which is good- but bad nonetheless.
I hope this is some sort of sign that normality is on its way!!

The biggest negative of them all, was the fact that I continually (throughout the day) considered smoking when I got home from work – as that is how I have always, in the past, dealt with the added stress.
I am sure that this has a lot to do with my -unrealistic- expectations… And by that I mean I was sure by the 3 week mark that this wouldn’t be a consideration.
There have been a lot of things playing on my mind, that in the past wouldn’t.
For example – and I never considered bringing this up in a blog – I am most likely unable to have children…. I was given the odds of 1:1,000,000.
This has been playing on my mind a lot lately – and I didn’t connect it to smoking previously, but now realise that my smoking was just working as a numbing effect – helping me to block it out and not deal with it… Where as now I see more clearly – I understand that this is a massive hurdle (for me).
I also consider this a positive – in that I feel I am now ready to take on issues such as this head on, rather than to smoke myself stupid and forget about it l together…
POSITIVES;
I had a friend call me and ask for advice on the accounting program that she uses at her work – and that I am pretty familiar with, and I was actually able to talk her through it and reach a solution… Something that I wouldn’t have had the confidence to even attempt 3 weeks ago…
And she reached this solution and was extremely grateful for my input!!  – this made me feel a lot better!!

Despite all the temptations throughout the day I didn’t smoke when I got home – and it’s now 10.10pm my time and I’m about to go to bed – so that’s definitely a plus lol

I have made it to week 3!!
…to be honest, I did not see myself making it this far this easily – well it wasn’t easy, lets be honest – but I expected myself to fail by now… Probably just a coping mechanism…
I am alive…
I know this sounds silly, but after spending a bit of time on my Facebook news feed today, I realise that I am lucky just to be here.
Living is a privilege – not a right, and I understand what this means now.
I don’t have much more to add at the moment, but would like to thank both Joe and Richie again (I know, broken record) for giving me the confidence, strength and support to get where I am now!!
It’s all going to be easier from here on in!!!
Oh and one more shout out – to my other half Chris, without whom I would not have made it as far as I have so far!!!
Thank you all so much for your belief in me 🙂
– Katie
x x x

Update – Day 20 Whooo

Hey Hey!!

Just a quick update…
Today is day 20 for me!! Almost 3 whole weeks!!

I feel so much better in so many ways!!
I can think so much more clearly now,
My memory has improved,
My reflexes are sharper,
My attention span has improved
My mood is better (no more psycho spin out Katie lol)
I have more energy,
FOOD TASTES BETTER (a big one for me),
I can smell again (this one is good and bad lol),
…and that’s just off the top of my head!

By biggest hurdle at the moment is still the sleeping thing!!

I have said before, but should mention again – I have had issues with sleeping (insomnia) for most of my life… Before giving up the green – actually before I even started smoking weed. This is the main reason I have always given up on quitting in the past.

When I sleep without sleeping pills, the nightmares won’t stop.

I went to my local GP this afternoon to ask for a referral to someone who might be able to help because while the sleeping pills stop the nightmares (or stop me from remembering them anyway), I can’t spend the rest of my life taking them!
When I take them it’s really hard to get up in the morning, and I am groggy and zombie like for the most part of the morning (pretty much the same as when I smoked)…

One of the things I have learned while researching different foods and their effects on our health is that many many medical issues (not all, of course) can be prevented, minimised and even cured with food, rather then antibiotics.
When I learned about this I decided to stop taking anything I don’t NEED, and to look to diet, exercise and lifestyle etc. for the answers.
This is one of my biggest motivations to stop taking the sleeping pills – or next I will be on a blog about ‘quitting’ the pills 😉

The Doctor gave me a referral to see a therapist and also prescribed me another kind of sleeping pill, which I will not actually pick up (I don’t think he understood what I meant by “I want to stop the nightmares WITHOUT pills” …
It drives me crazy that to them (Doctors) medication seems to be the answer for everything (though I know it’s their job, and they only know what they are taught) – I just wish I could find a doctor who understood the links between food and health, and saw that they go hand in hand, and didn’t just give me whichever drug will entitle him to the biggest kickbacks from the pharmaceutical companies that profit from their sales!!!  – sorry about the rant –

I don’t think there’s any kind of traumatic past experience or anything that could have triggered these issues, because I am luck enough to never have been through any overly traumatic experiences, but maybe they will be able to help nevertheless.

I will update again soon, just thought I’d better get this off my chest – so to speak 😉

At the risk of sounding like a broken record –  thanks again to Joe and Richie! You guys are an amazing inspiration and make it so much easier to get through the cravings and temptations – not I feel I have something to prove, and a Katie with a point to prove is like a dog with a bone!!

Peace, and stay strong x x

Oh and Joe I am working on finding someone, somewhere who might have some information or even experiences that can help ease your pain!!

-Katie- My nightmares

I should start off this post by pointing out that I first came across Joe’s blog while researching ways of dealing with/preventing nightmares.

While it is very possible that you may experience bad dreams while quitting, I am so far unable to find anyone else experiencing the same as me with regard to both the frequency and extremity of nightmares.
I initially started smoking to help deal with my insomnia, and am beginning to think that my previous sleeping issues and my current problems are somewhere, somehow connected.

Please do not let the following scare you or put you off, as I believe this is (I am) an extremely rare case!

My nightmares started in Bali on about day 4 of quitting, when I had a dream that I had got home from Bali and immediately started smoking again.
When I woke up, I actually thought for a while that I had started again (weird, huh!?)

On about day 7 these ‘annoying’ dreams, started turning into worse and worse nightmares.

I have had nightmares before, however these dreams are no less than horrific (and involve things like rape, murder, death of family etc.) and they even play on my mind all the following day.
Aside from that, I was constantly tired because when I woke up -often either screaming or crying- I was too scared to fall back asleep in feat of the nightmare continuing or repeating.

I know it’s easier to just smoke and not worry about it (or so people kept tell me) but… well… you know!
I’m pretty keen to kick it for good.

I have taken sleeping pills for the last 9 nights because I am actually petrified to fall asleep without them.
Due to the healthy lifestyle I am trying to create, I would really like to do this without the use of medication.

I have tried cutting out caffeine and TV before bed, taking magnesium supplements, sleeping with relaxing music and many other things.

I do understand that the nightmares are a normal side effect of the withdrawals – but don’t know if I am mentally strong enough to deal with the extremity of them.

If anyone has any hints or tips on how I might be able to combat this, I would be ever so appreciative.

Katie x x

-Katie- The journey so far

I am giving up the green.

I’m going to try update every few days or so on how I am doing, how I am feeling, and what I am experiencing.

So here I go…

I don’t have a lot of will power.
Sucky – but that’s the way it is!

This will be attempt 4 of quitting – after around 6 or so years smoking “full time” I guess you could call it.

To try and explain what I mean by full time, here is what a typical day for me was like:
– Wake up, smoke a few cones
– Shower & get dressed, smoke more cones
– Hair and make up, smoke some more cones (by this point -8.30am- I would have smoked about a gram and a half)
– Go to work, watch the clock anxiously until 12.30pm (lunch time)
– Drive the 15 minutes it takes to get home, where I would smoke as much as I could I could in about 10 minutes (usually at least another gram)
– Skip food and head back to work, to continue watching the clock anxiously
– 5.00pm HOME TIME! 15-20 minute drive home
– Park my arse on the couch in front of some trashy TV show and smoke until dinner time (approx 8pm)
– Cook dinner, which was always whatever required the least amount of effort (smoking in between)
– Eat dinner – then straight back to the couch for more smoking until bed time (between 5.00pm and midnight I would go through anywhere from 3g – 5g.
– Go to bed, wake up and start over.
Every day…
Every single day…

Needless to say, this is not the life I had planned for myself.
Since I had (on July 1st 2011) reached one of the main “life goals” I had set for myself – become Managing Director of my own business – I decided it needed to stop… and now!

This time will be my last quitting ‘attempt’.

To combat my lack of will power in the first few days of quitting – which I knew from my last attempts would be the hardest – my partner and I travelled to Bali on holiday for 7 days.

I guess we figured if I was taken away from my ‘dealer’ and ‘smoking friends’ and completely distracted myself with activities in new surroundings that I wouldn’t struggle quite so much.
Thankfully I was right!

I am basically working on replacing my addiction with one of fitness (cross fit in particular) and a massive change in diet and lifestyle.

A hurdle I previously stumbled over was finding productive ways to fill in some of the spare time quitting is bound to create.

I have developed a keen interest in cooking and preparing food.
Not just any food – but healthy food!
90% of what I eat/drink is completely natural (no wheat, pasta, preservatives, additives etc..).

I am finding that since I now spend a lot of time researching and learning about new ways to cook, and to use food as a preventative for future illnesses etc. that I have much less time to even think about -let alone pay attention to- withdrawal symptoms.

I am also getting into fitness and exercise.
In the past I couldn’t run to the mailbox, but now I am training most days and feel -and see- myself getting fitter and stronger every day.
I even participated in an 8 kilometre fun run for charity! My time wasn’t the best at all (1hour 24minutes) but at least I ran the whole way and crossed the finish line!!

One of the other things that I found really difficult to deal with (and sometimes still do) is the bursts of frustration and even anger that seem to come from nowhere at all.
The slightest thing would send me into almost a fit of rage.
I would snap at my partner for absolutely no reason at all (luckily he stood beside me through all the crazy)

This was the main reason I gave up on quitting in the past.
Being angry and frustrated is not who I am, or who I want to be.

There are several things that I used to almost distract myself from these mood swings.
I took up playing Call Of Duty 2 on the PS3 with Chris – yep, really!
Now when I feel myself getting worked up I can jump on the PS3 and take out my frustration on killing zombies- rather than the people (and material things) around me.
I do understand how silly that sounds, but whatever works for you… Right?!

It is now 1.50pm in Australia and I am on day 17.

So far I have noticed my memory has improved, my reaction times are faster, I no longer almost cough up a lung every morning, I have much more energy!!

Anyway that’s about where I am at so far…
Will check back soon 🙂

Peace, and keep moving forward!!

Katie x x

-Katie- A little about myself

I’m Katie 🙂

I’m 23 years old and live in Victoria, Australia.

I have an amazing and supportive partner named Chris – who won’t be mentioned in this blog as much as he should be (as he is almost always at my side) mainly because he is going through a very similar thing to me, and therefore has his own story to tell.

We currently live in our own house, however my step-sister is staying with us until she can get back on her feet – which is actually pretty awesome!

We have lots of pets (a python, two lizards, a scorpion, a dog, and approx 120 fish).

I own and operate my own business (I took on one of my Step Father’s stores independently as he wanted to downsize his business, and I wanted to grow my own), again, with the help of Chris.

I had never planned on recording my journey, until I stumbled across Joe Kennedy whose blog I stumbled upon in the attempt to find some inspiration to draw from.

Although he is probably not aware, Joe and his blog/YouTube channel has helped me in a big way – hence the thought that I could possibly do the same for someone else.

I have smoked cigarettes for 9 years, and marijuana for approx 7-8 years.

This is the journey of my quitting both these habits, starting with the weed!

x x

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