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Message for Joe… :)

Hey Joe old friend, (re-post because it didn’t post last time)

Sorry to hear buddy. But hey, shit happens. You’ll quit again no problem. 😉

As I told you last year, I had started smoking again last Easter after quitting smoking 2nd of January 2013. It may sound weird but I had actually planned to go back on it. I didn’t give-in or so. It was planned because I had Easter free and couldn’t afford holidays so decided to get bunched for the 2 weeks. Anyway, then I was back on it worse than before because when my work contract in finished up in June I started smoking seriously heavily again accept much worse than before when I was only smoking in the evening. Now I was smoking after my breakfast then all day until I crashed. I was smoking very potent (Sticky Hash) which is apparently more potent that any weed (so I have read somewhere). Lovely stuff to smoke but this soon led to a very nasty all-day addiction where I was chain smoking whenever I was awake. This was much worse than my previous addiction. It also made me extremely unfit and was costing me over 100€ a week. That’s a lot of f**king money. It came to a point where 5 minutes after putting one out I would need to skin another. My health deteriorated to a point where I developed serious throat problems due to excess hash resin/tar in my throat and I done my vocal chords in to my point I could hardly talk any more (for over 4 months). I knew this was bad news now and knew things had to stop. I was afraid of throat cancer now. F**k that.

At the end of October 2013 I had planned on going to my family for Christmas (even though I could now hardly talk) and decided I wanted (needed) to quit period. I didn’t want to be going through the whole nasty withdrawal thing again while I was there so on the 1st of November I quit again.

This time it was physically much, much harder quitting than last time due to smoking way more and way more potent stuff than before. The insomnia this time was bad news. I am not joking but for 6 weeks I was getting 2 to 3 hours sleep an night between 2 and 5am. That was it. It was a proper de-tox. I was nasty.

Anyway Joe, I am writing this to you now because there is a positive outcome to encourage you… 🙂

I got through it. When I was dealing with the insomnia I started using the awake time training (jogging 3 days a week Monday, Wednesday, Friday and heaving training (pull-ups, sit-ups…etc) Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday). I didn’t over do it because I knew my amune system was shot due to fatigue and I upped my vitamin/carb/protein intake to compensate. I trained to try and make myself tired so I could sleep but it didn’t help my insomia at all which surprised me. Not a bit. Anyway, the end effect was that I ended up very fit when I came out the other end. Nice compensation.

My throat problem was serious and my vocal chords were operated on in February. I have since recovered and can talk again.

I have still quit and am still not smoking, I am still training, I drink less. I eat healthy and I feel re-born. 🙂

My main point that I wanted to say to you Joe is that, although quitting this time was for me physically much, much harder than before, it was mentally a piece of cake having done it before. Really. Mentally it was easy the 2nd time around because thanks to your (and Katie’s) help last time I knew what to expect and I knew I could do it.

So my words of support here to you are:

Joe, You will quit again no problem old friend because you now know what to expect this time and what you gotta do. Psychologically a piece of cake.

I haven’t bought it or had it in my house it since 1st of November (nearly 7 months). I didn’t even bother counting days I quitted this time because I simply knew that I would do it no matter what de-tox threw at me.

Also, I have been around or visited friends who smoke on occasion and I can now actually allow myself the odd social hit which was fine because I know I have psychologically absolutely no intention of going back my old ways. I can take the odd hit at a party or whatever and then forget it happened next day. That’s a nice place to be where I can do that without any concern.

You can and will do it again as I did.

You are Boss,

Chin-up,

Much love,

Richie

🙂

DAY 36. Holy Crap :)

Hi Guys,

First wanted to say sorry for not being around recently. However, the thing is that I have been posting from my smart phone and they have not been uploading 🙁

I only noticed today.

I have just reposted my post from DAY 13 as I can’t find it here anywhere.

Anyway guys, I am doing well and am now a whopping 36 DAYS of the Doobies. I have been seriously stressed at work with deadlines but due to my Doob free clarity I have been staying on top of things.

However my sleep patern is kinda screwed where I wake up in the middle of the night for an hour (every night) although I think that it’s just work stress related.

I’ve been having a few beers every night but plan on reducing that from Monday as I have noticed now that I am Doobfree that it doesn’t help my performance at work and life.

Wanna start jogging next Monday so no more Ciggies after this weekend.

My only problem since quitting it trying to get out of my lazy habits like not doing stuff and cleaning up when I should. After 16 years of smoking it’s not surprising the brain will need a little time to adjust to a new pattern.

Anyway…

Joe,

your hair is gone WTF. I loved your hair dude. Especially with the beard photo. Bad Ass. 😉 Still, you look cool Bro.

Hang in there Joe. You’ll sort work out. You have a great personality. You’ll get something soon.

Katie,

Glad you are well. Hope all is well for you too and nightmares are a thing of the past?

I have been dreaming constantly every night since quitting which is very entertaining actually.

Lisa,

Welcome on board and best of luck. Quitting was easier than I thought it was going to be.

Anyway dudes. I have shit-load of stuff to do today and gotta get my ass in gear.

Lets all stay in touch guys.

Love as always,

Richie xxx

DAY 13. One week back at work after my Cold Turkey Sickness (Re-post)

Hi Guys,

Sorry I ain’t been in touch. I have had a mad busy week working the usual crappy 10 hour day. Just got in now at 9:45pm.

The form is ok although I had a very rough Monday to a point that I very, very nearly relapsed. I had actually posted on Monday from my smart-phone but it somehow didn’t post which is a good thing because it was kinda negative saying ‘I’m floored, sorry guys but It will be a miracle if I don’t go and score some sticky after work’.

Anyway, turns out I didn’t and still haven’t touch anything. I was just just wrecked tired and was seriously down due to fatigue.

I came home on Monday and crashed into bed at 9pm and slept like 10 hours or something. I felt fine the next day.

I have noticed that my head feels so clear this week even though I have been necking the few beers every night. I wake up a little fuzzy from the beer but by 11pm I feel reborn. Weird.

I ain’t craving anymore. It’s all about ‘habit’ as Joe said. I’m smoking a lot of ciggies to compensate but them only in the evening. I will reduce that with time though.

Sorry about your neck Joe. 🙁

Great no more nightmares Katie 🙂

lol about your dream Katie. I have being dreaming every night but no nightmares. I haven’t really dreamed in years due to the Doob so it’s like cinema and entertainment to me. During the week. I dreamt that I was in NY with you and Joe on top of some skyscraper. The weather was great and there was swimming pool overlooking Manhattan. It was really neat because the there was no handrails or balustrades on the roof and when you were in the pool there was just the edge of the pool (the water line) and then a clear view over the city. The building was towering about 50 storeys above any other building. It was so cool and the mood was great. Weird as F**k. Funny eh?

Tomorrow is my DAY 14. WTF…! I can’t believe it. Really, 2 full weeks and no Doobie when I can pick it up any time I want. That’s F**king cool man.

I still feel up and down but generally feel good and kinda starting to feel high without it due to the new found clarity I am experiencing.

I honestly have you 2 dudes to thank. No shit. 😉

I will try and Post at the weekend although I have my boy so I shall be busy with him.

Love you guys,

Love as always,

Richie xx

DAY 07. Wow. 1 Week. Who’d have thought that!

Hey Guys,

1 Week 🙂

Had another good day 😉

So much time on my hands. Got a crap-load done again.

About to kick back and watch my first Doobfree Movie in 15 year (Promentheus on BluRay).

Talk soon my friends,

Richie xx

DAY 06. Had a good day today.

Hi Guys,

This will be short due to the name of this post. 🙂

DAY 06.

Negative thoughts:

None really right now besides a little tired 🙂

Positive thoughts:

My sleeping rhythm is still way off but, never the less, I had a good nights sleep. Had a few weird dreams were I was emotional in the dream but nothing heavy.

Woke up feeling great in a good mood and motivated. I made good use of the mood and done a load of house work and stuff that I have been meaning to do.

I plan the same for tomorrow (if mood permits).

Ate 3 times today including a Yummy Steak Dinner.

That’s all for now guys,

Later,

Richie

DAY 5. Messed up sleeping pattern and weird dreams.

Hi Guys,

DAY 05.

Negative Thoughts:

Had a rough night last night. Went to bed around 1:30am and got to sleep soon after.

Then woke up from a weird dream around 2:30am but got back to sleep.

But then had constant crazy, very vivid dreams and woke up at 4:30am from a rough one (some dude was about to stab me with a butcher knife in a restaurant).

I couldn’t get back to sleep after that even after a warm milk with a shot of Scoth thrown in.

I managed to get back to sleep at 7:15am just before my alarm went off for 7:30am.

I felt like crap with the sweats etc.

I decided I wasn’t fit to work this week and went to the Doctor today for a Cert.

I’m off now until Monday next.

Positive thoughts:

I now feel a little more relaxed knowing I can concentrate on me this week.

I had a serious urge to break my fast today after going to the doctor’s but said NO. Still off the Doobies. 😉

My appetite is better today. (I had forgotten to mention that it was screwed and that I was only eating once a day since quitting.)

I’ve eaten twice today. Yummy!

I will write more tomorrow instead.

Thanks,

Richie.

PS: Thank again Joe and Katie. I feel as if I am being a little selfish here and only writing about myself and not supporting you guys. Probably just in my head.

DAY 4. Away from Hashish: Negatives, Positives and Ongoing Goals

Hi Guys,

Thanks for your replies, support and suggestions.

DAY 4.

Off today too but back to work tomorrow. Not really looking forward to that.

Slept better last night (or should I say this morning as it was around 6:00am when I got to sleep).

I drank a shit-load of herbal Sleep and Nerve Tea yesterday which has:
Valerian root
Dried hop cones
Passion flower herb
Peppermint leaves
Rosemary leaves

It made me feel kinda dopey and tired which was nice I guess. Read More …

DAY 3. Away from Hashish: Negatives and Positives

Hi Guys,

DAY 3

Negative Comments:

I didn’t get to sleep this morning until about 5:30am and then I was only kind of half asleep having weird dreams and sweating buckets. I had to literally swap pillows and bedclothes because they were soaking.

Bigger Problem:

I was so wrecked this morning that I couldn’t get up and go to work (I am Project Manager in a Logistics). Actually feel sick like I have a bad cold or something.

I stayed in bed all day and feel like a loser again.

Because I slept all day again I know that tonight will be the same bullshit.

I might decide to simply stay up all night and tomorrow to try and sort my sleep pattern. It’s been screwed due to staying up too late every night over Christmas.

Positive Comments:

None besides still of the Dope

Sorry can’t be more positive.

Thanks guys,

Richie

DAY 2. Away from Hashish: Writing Helps

Hi Guys,

I feel that writing here is helping me vent my feelings because I haven’t told anyone of my family or friends that I am quitting. ;)

I am going to note here both my positive and negative feelings and experiences over the coming weeks. In saying that it would appear that I am really quitting. :)

I now also feel that I have your support and feel like I now have something to prove. Your support and accomplishments up to this point impress me.

Before I was a stoner I used to love a challenge so why not now too? ;)

So here goes…

DAY 2.

Negative notes:

Managed to get to sleep after the few mouthfuls of Scoth last night at around 6:00am.

I set my alarm for 11:00 this morning with the hope I would then get up and be more tired this evening and could hopefully sleep better. Problem is I slept right through until around 3:00pm. Not good, as it is my first day back to work tomorrow and I know that because I got to sleep so late and got up so late that it will be tough to try and sleep tonight and I have to get up tomorrow at 7:30am.

I have started having dreams again already. A little weird but nothing negative as of yet.

I am feeling a little depressed.

Positive notes:

Screw it! If I only get 2 hours sleep tonight, I only have to battle through work tomorrow and then hopefully be so tired tomorrow night that getting to sleep wont be an issue and may push me back into a normal sleeping routine.

Tomorrow I will only be very tired at work but not exhausted because I just had 3 week holidays and have slept in everyday.

Waking up today I felt quite groggy but I think it was just due to sleeping so long, excessive cigarette smoking and the few extra drinks last night. However, once I got up and got a few black teas into me I feel surprisingly better. I feel groggy but not that same groggy I would usually feel after Hash.

For the first time in years I actually went a whole day without smoking. I know it’s only 1 day, but hey, I’m impressed with my will power. It’s a start.

Today I found half a joint in an ashtray and threw it in the bin. That surprised me. :)

I am feeling a little more motivated. Not much, but at least a little.

Anyway guys,

I think that’s it for now.

I have a shit-load of housework to due that I didn’t bother doing while I was stoned.

I feel a little down and unmotivated but I will try to start on that to see if it helps my mood.

Thanks again,

Richie

 

 

DAY 2. Away from Hashish

Hi Guys,

Well I have got through day 1 and although it is 2:30am I am feeling physically tired for once which is nice for a change. Usually the Doob has me feeling wide awake at night time keeping me up watching YouTube until stupid O’clock (as I call it). I have admittedly had 5 beers and have chain smoked all day but hey it’s a start I guess.

Feeling a little detached from the world but it ain’t that bad as of yet.

Wish me luck.

All the best,

Thanks again,

Richie

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