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I feel that writing here is helping me vent my feelings because I haven’t told anyone of my family or friends that I am quitting.
I am going to note here both my positive and negative feelings and experiences over the coming weeks. In saying that it would appear that I am really quitting.
I now also feel that I have your support and feel like I now have something to prove. Your support and accomplishments up to this point impress me.
Before I was a stoner I used to love a challenge so why not now too?
So here goes…
Managed to get to sleep after the few mouthfuls of Scoth last night at around 6:00am.
I set my alarm for 11:00 this morning with the hope I would then get up and be more tired this evening and could hopefully sleep better. Problem is I slept right through until around 3:00pm. Not good, as it is my first day back to work tomorrow and I know that because I got to sleep so late and got up so late that it will be tough to try and sleep tonight and I have to get up tomorrow at 7:30am.
I have started having dreams again already. A little weird but nothing negative as of yet.
I am feeling a little depressed.
Screw it! If I only get 2 hours sleep tonight, I only have to battle through work tomorrow and then hopefully be so tired tomorrow night that getting to sleep wont be an issue and may push me back into a normal sleeping routine.
Tomorrow I will only be very tired at work but not exhausted because I just had 3 week holidays and have slept in everyday.
Waking up today I felt quite groggy but I think it was just due to sleeping so long, excessive cigarette smoking and the few extra drinks last night. However, once I got up and got a few black teas into me I feel surprisingly better. I feel groggy but not that same groggy I would usually feel after Hash.
For the first time in years I actually went a whole day without smoking. I know it’s only 1 day, but hey, I’m impressed with my will power. It’s a start.
Today I found half a joint in an ashtray and threw it in the bin. That surprised me.
I am feeling a little more motivated. Not much, but at least a little.
I think that’s it for now.
I have a shit-load of housework to due that I didn’t bother doing while I was stoned.
I feel a little down and unmotivated but I will try to start on that to see if it helps my mood.
Anyway, I have officially stopped smoking Hash (I hope).
Last night I smoked my last Doobie. I have been thinking about picking some up some all day but said NO to myself. (Although I did pick up a 6 pack of beer for the nerves half an hour ago)
Tonight I am gonna just play video games or something just to keep my mind off the Doob.
It’s 20:24 here now in Europe and I would usually be skinning up.
Gonna be weird without it. Might have to neck all the beers so I can sleep.