Why

I certainly realize that many, many people are very able to use marijuana and/or other drugs socially or recreationally without causing huge problems in their lives.  I always thought I could be one of those people, but inside knew that was not true.  I’ve got an addictive personality – if I find something (anything) I like – I want more of it.

Up until last month during a visit to San Diego, nobody has really ever called me on it.  I’m sure there are many people who have drifted or stayed away from me because of this issue – but nobody really ever talked to me about it like they cared – until I went to visit my good friend Volodymyr.

We’ve always had nice long talks and he’s been a good friend for over 10 years now.  He’s a very smart and funny guy, with an extremely interesting background and a lot of unbelievable stories.  During our talk last month, we were talking about my challenges of finding employment, and he started talking about ‘some people’ who have problems with drugs – including marijuana.  I really took it to heart, as I’d previous pretty much thought that “it’s only just pot” – and that I could ‘handle’ it.

In reality, the only way I can ‘handle’ marijuana is by not using.  Period.  It is really that simple.

Below is the text that of a message I just sent Volodymyr – it’s really personal, but I felt it should be shared:

Privet Mr. Volodymyr and Happy New Year!  I hope everything is going well for you – at least as well as can be expected.  It was very good to see you and Nina when I was in San Diego, although I felt really bad that I guilted you into it at a time when you were not feeling good about it.  I wasn’t a very good friend – please accept my apologies.

I found myself extremely sad after leaving your house and did go to LA the next morning, but my heart wasn’t into the fight it would take me to make it there, so I drove back to Bellevue that night …

One thing that you said to me has made a HUGE impact on me …. When you were talking to to me about some problems that people have, it really hit me.  You were the ONLY one who has ever cared enough about me to talk like that and it has helped me realize that MARIJUANA has been a MAJOR problem for me in my life – almost my entire life since I was 12 years old.  It took some time after that to make the decision, but 9 days ago I quit using pot – hopefully forever – although I know it will be a constant fight for some time.  To help myself, I started a new blog the other day and have made a Facebook post and sent an email to almost everyone I know telling them about my problem and my desire to change.  IF you’d like you can follow along my journey at http://HowIQuitSmokingPot.com

My sincere hope is that I can get some sort of brain activity back – and maybe even find a personality – and that we can get reacquainted at that time.  THANK YOU very much for your very valued friendship.  I’ve really missed getting to see and talk with you more often.  JK

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